So it seems that Kim Jong-un, everyone’s favourite member of the Kim dynasty, is not a bachelor. She’s not Asma Al-Assad (who while her husband Bashar inevitably gets executed in the next few years will no doubt land on her feet with some other rich bastard), but she’s easy enough on the eyes. Media reports have Kim Jong-un reported to be married to Ri Sol-ju. Yes, gold-digging ladies of the world(and there are so many of you), it’s time to put aside dreams of being the First Lady of the Hermit Nation. Details are a bit stingy on education (Kim Il-sung university, no report on her major) and personality (he picked her out of a cheerleading section, no word as to whether he did it David Lee Roth style with a laser pointer) but apparently she can sing and somehow has already visited South Korea. Women have all the luck, she can dress western style (one can assume her budget has expanded somewhat) while Jong-un is stuck with crappy workers uniforms designed to bolster his working-class credentials (yeah, right). Good luck to the happy couple, and remember Jong-un that as a dictator, when it all goes pie-eyed in your marriage you won’t be needing to pay alimony.